Sitting in a Marriage Hall on the night before the judgment day, finding trouble to sleep because of the innumerous activities bustling around makes me wonder what the fuss is all about. Marriage in general is an object of ridicule but the height of it would an Arranged Marriage!! With information technology in the form of Matrimonial websites and Marriage fairs adding to the fluff, I really wonder if Marriages can mock itself any further.
It all starts when a boy crosses the ‘26 years’ barrier. Still worse is the state of the poor girl when she is about to finish her graduation. A (wo) manhunt would be launched to find their Mr. (s) Right through Newspaper, websites, hand-outs and more effectively through word-of-mouth. A typical matrimonial Advertisement given by the bride would appear this way: 22 years fair, slim, good-looking, well-educated, good family, 50,000, Brahmin girl looking for fairest, very smart, strikingly Good looking, MBA, born with silver spoon bridegroom. For those who have never read a matrimonial advertisement, the number 50,000 refers to the salary earned by the girl in rupees per month. Though it’s over-rated, didn’t the advertisement sound like the dream girl you ever wanted?? Reading the other matrimonial advertisements might get you bewildered and disoriented because you will only find a lot more dream girls.
Once the two parties are identified, the horoscopes are exchanged and each party runs to their own astrologer (imagine them as frantically running!) to check for their star matching. Definitely there would be a problem in the bride and groom matching but paying a lump sum amount to the astrologer would solve the issue quite easily. Having a family doctor is healthy; family Business is truly professional ; family planning also sounds fine to a sect of the people; But a family Astrologer ? Astrology might be the biggest thriving business seconding only to the marriage halls which are rented out by their owners at minimum rate of 150,000 rupees a day.
A Marriage is never initiated without coming into an “Understanding” between the two families and by that word I mean dowry. Let us not get into the gory details of dowry but the amount paid to the groom goes on an ascending logarithmic scale from an Engineering graduate to a post graduate to an IIT student to a doctor and the highest is paid to the NRI. After months of preparation and purchase of zillion stuffs, the budget unsurprisingly touches 50 lakh rupees. Breakfast, lunch, brunch, tea, snacks, dinner for two – three days along with accommodation are arranged to a bunch of totally unknown and unwanted people. Even worse is the North Indian Marriage which goes on and on for a week. Care is taken while giving out the wedding invitation cards and the hospitality showed during the marriage day because anything short of the bench-marked standards can result in bad blood running in the family for decades.
People come in and go out of the marriage hall as though it is a “Chathram”. Yes, you heard it right. It is one place where you can walk in and out without being interrogated. If you ever fall short of money and/ or unable to locate a good restaurant, here is an idea: Just walk in to the nearest marriage hall and enjoy a sumptuous food. You will also be given a bag of sweets and various other assortments as you leave the hall. Trust me; you can never be caught for trespassing because no one knows everyone there. Even if you get caught, there is no section in the law which says it is a criminal offence for strangers to walk into a marriage hall for satisfying their appetite. Or you could always use the South Park idea: If you get caught, tell them that you misinterpreted the rules.
Totally unknown faces meet under a roof, exchange a few greetings only to finally rush to the dining hall and reserve a seat for their family while the bride and groom are left alone to suffer in front of the fire place “AGNI” and cough for hours together. The punishment does not end there. A reception is held the same evening where the couple is made to stand (e) motionless for hours in front of camera and lights. Many families take turns by standing in a long queue to pose with the newly wedded couple just like how the Prime Ministers of two countries pose during their press meet. After seeing the couple from a close distance, some give a scornful look while some giving a beaming smile nonstop for about a minute at the camera lens. Meeting strangers one fine evening and enquiring about their lives might be tough for you, but the only reconciliation your parents get is finding your perfect partner in the same hall. Marriage is definitely a catastrophe in Avalanche!
After all this, the most interesting and ironically the strangest Event is coming up – “The First Night”. The Bride and the Groom who have hardly exchanged a meaningful conversation with each other are pushed inside one room the SAME night of the Marriage with their bed decorated to consummate the marriage. While this event is going on, the couples’ parents sitting outside the room sighs a relief and appear contended. I really can’t imagine what would happen if the same parents found their boy intimate with his girl friend. The entire social extravaganza, reckless spending and the first night makes us conceive that Marriage is definitely a costly license to sex.
The munificent spending for a crowd of near total strangers, ravaging the resources and creation of black market makes marriage lose its very essence of celebrating the day of two soul mates getting together. A Marriage would rather look respectable if the couples had fallen in love for quite some time and after resolving their differences still decide to get married for a life-long commitment. It would look elegant if marriages are conducted in a Temple or a Church or in any place of worship in the ‘Alaipayuthey’ movie style. It cannot demean itself any further if conducted in a Marriage hall and have all those unsuitable potpourris. I really have to catch up on the girl who walked past the hall sometime back. After all, Marriages can prove to be a Chain Reaction.
It all starts when a boy crosses the ‘26 years’ barrier. Still worse is the state of the poor girl when she is about to finish her graduation. A (wo) manhunt would be launched to find their Mr. (s) Right through Newspaper, websites, hand-outs and more effectively through word-of-mouth. A typical matrimonial Advertisement given by the bride would appear this way: 22 years fair, slim, good-looking, well-educated, good family, 50,000, Brahmin girl looking for fairest, very smart, strikingly Good looking, MBA, born with silver spoon bridegroom. For those who have never read a matrimonial advertisement, the number 50,000 refers to the salary earned by the girl in rupees per month. Though it’s over-rated, didn’t the advertisement sound like the dream girl you ever wanted?? Reading the other matrimonial advertisements might get you bewildered and disoriented because you will only find a lot more dream girls.
Once the two parties are identified, the horoscopes are exchanged and each party runs to their own astrologer (imagine them as frantically running!) to check for their star matching. Definitely there would be a problem in the bride and groom matching but paying a lump sum amount to the astrologer would solve the issue quite easily. Having a family doctor is healthy; family Business is truly professional ; family planning also sounds fine to a sect of the people; But a family Astrologer ? Astrology might be the biggest thriving business seconding only to the marriage halls which are rented out by their owners at minimum rate of 150,000 rupees a day.
A Marriage is never initiated without coming into an “Understanding” between the two families and by that word I mean dowry. Let us not get into the gory details of dowry but the amount paid to the groom goes on an ascending logarithmic scale from an Engineering graduate to a post graduate to an IIT student to a doctor and the highest is paid to the NRI. After months of preparation and purchase of zillion stuffs, the budget unsurprisingly touches 50 lakh rupees. Breakfast, lunch, brunch, tea, snacks, dinner for two – three days along with accommodation are arranged to a bunch of totally unknown and unwanted people. Even worse is the North Indian Marriage which goes on and on for a week. Care is taken while giving out the wedding invitation cards and the hospitality showed during the marriage day because anything short of the bench-marked standards can result in bad blood running in the family for decades.
People come in and go out of the marriage hall as though it is a “Chathram”. Yes, you heard it right. It is one place where you can walk in and out without being interrogated. If you ever fall short of money and/ or unable to locate a good restaurant, here is an idea: Just walk in to the nearest marriage hall and enjoy a sumptuous food. You will also be given a bag of sweets and various other assortments as you leave the hall. Trust me; you can never be caught for trespassing because no one knows everyone there. Even if you get caught, there is no section in the law which says it is a criminal offence for strangers to walk into a marriage hall for satisfying their appetite. Or you could always use the South Park idea: If you get caught, tell them that you misinterpreted the rules.
Totally unknown faces meet under a roof, exchange a few greetings only to finally rush to the dining hall and reserve a seat for their family while the bride and groom are left alone to suffer in front of the fire place “AGNI” and cough for hours together. The punishment does not end there. A reception is held the same evening where the couple is made to stand (e) motionless for hours in front of camera and lights. Many families take turns by standing in a long queue to pose with the newly wedded couple just like how the Prime Ministers of two countries pose during their press meet. After seeing the couple from a close distance, some give a scornful look while some giving a beaming smile nonstop for about a minute at the camera lens. Meeting strangers one fine evening and enquiring about their lives might be tough for you, but the only reconciliation your parents get is finding your perfect partner in the same hall. Marriage is definitely a catastrophe in Avalanche!
After all this, the most interesting and ironically the strangest Event is coming up – “The First Night”. The Bride and the Groom who have hardly exchanged a meaningful conversation with each other are pushed inside one room the SAME night of the Marriage with their bed decorated to consummate the marriage. While this event is going on, the couples’ parents sitting outside the room sighs a relief and appear contended. I really can’t imagine what would happen if the same parents found their boy intimate with his girl friend. The entire social extravaganza, reckless spending and the first night makes us conceive that Marriage is definitely a costly license to sex.
The munificent spending for a crowd of near total strangers, ravaging the resources and creation of black market makes marriage lose its very essence of celebrating the day of two soul mates getting together. A Marriage would rather look respectable if the couples had fallen in love for quite some time and after resolving their differences still decide to get married for a life-long commitment. It would look elegant if marriages are conducted in a Temple or a Church or in any place of worship in the ‘Alaipayuthey’ movie style. It cannot demean itself any further if conducted in a Marriage hall and have all those unsuitable potpourris. I really have to catch up on the girl who walked past the hall sometime back. After all, Marriages can prove to be a Chain Reaction.
7 comments:
cynical...
Nice :-)
totally agree!! couldnt agree more!!
right from the looking out for the phony brahmin guy/girl who speaks in iyer baashai though they have every damn depravity in the world till the rituals associated with somethign obscene as first night marriage is plain disgusting and REPULSIVE
great post!
abt chathram its a good thing theres no law agnst trespassing...makes it more fun :D
He he.. good post :) enjoyed readin thru.. Esp the part abt the couple stayin emotionless for hours at the reception.. tat's somethin i keep dreading abt..
But I agree with anand that the post was too cynical :) After all, a marriage is not all abt strangers being under one roof.. Often marriages are the only reasons for which long lost members of the family get in touch..
Yup.. agree that it is cynical and harsh but usually there is a significant percentage of people who don't know anything about what is going on and i find it funny to see people like them there.
hehe..good one..reception part is too good..hehe
nice one :)
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